September 27th 2009, he decided he wanted out. That he couldn't muster up the strength and effort to stay and make it work. He never loved me.
I was stunned. It seemed so out of the blue, but as I look back on it now, 3 months later, I can see the signs.
Together for almost 5 years....
4 years, 6 months, 21 days
238 weeks
1666 days
2,399,040 minutes
Family and friends all couldn't believe their ears when I broke the news. After all we just moved into our first house 8 month prior. I was happy. We were happy, or so I thought.
I thought that our happy day would come. I was just waiting for a proposal. I knew it had to be coming soon. He told me that it had never crossed his mind. He didn't want to marry me.
I look back now and feel so stupid for rummaging through his sock draw looking for a box that I thought would be there, but really, it never crossed his mind.
He is still my best friend. In the end we will likely make better best friends than a couple.
It's hard.
I moved out within the week. I couldn't stand to be in "our" house by myself, to this day I don't know how he can stay. I guess men don't form emotional attachments with items...
The past three months have been hell, but I am getting through. It's hard to say don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Fast forward, I just bought my own house and the closing date is in 1 week.
It represent both an end and a beginning; a new beginning. A chance to start over for 2010.
...more to come...
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4 people had something to say:
Congratulations on the new house - trust me when I say that it is when you are 100% a-ok on your own that the right person comes along :-)
In the meantime, have fun decorating your new place to be exactly what YOU want!!
I'm so sorry to hear that you went through this. I can relate on some levels with some past experiences of mine. I know it hurts but I can tell you are moving forward and doing your best to be positive. You are such a talented person with a lot going for you... someone will come into your life who appreciates all that you are, and knows he wants to marry you as soon as he gets to know you.
@LifeBegins@Thirty: Thanks! I cannot wait to start decorating! I think that it will be a huge stress reliever...
@Christie: I've been trying my hardest to stay postive, there is no sense in waisting my energy crying or begging. I have my on days and off days, but for the most part I am trying to stay positive. Thanks for your kind words.
Consider yourself hugged, hun. You're better off without him. You deserve better and God has a better plan than the one you had for yourself. Just wait and see. It will take time, but you'll be able to look back and realize that this was a good thing eventually.
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